My wife has been having an affair and I have filed for divorce. Our children do not know about the infidelity yet, but I'm sure it will come out.

I am the husband who cooks, cleans and cares for our children. I massaged her feet. I sent flowers for no reason. I earned enough so that she could stay home. Since she left, the kids keep asking where Mom is.

My question is to her friends: Why did you help her cheat on me? Where are your morals? Why would you actually encourage her by supplying alibis for her missing hours? I hope you sleep well knowing that you've helped destroy the lives of three children whose mother chose another man over her family. Will you someday look at my grown children in the eyes and tell them what you did? － Still Loving Her

Dear Still:

Your pain and anger are powerful enough to be felt right through your letter. Don't kid yourself, however. Friends can make an affair easier, but had they said no, your wife would have found another way. Because you still love her, you are looking to blame someone. Please consider counselling for yourself and your children to help all of you in the transition to your new situation.